Stupid Things Not to Say In An Interview.

Stupid Things Not to Say In An Interview.

After many years of hiring people I can tell you that the best way to get a good job is to do a good job while you are being interviewed. The best way to score during an interview is to avoid asking or saying something stupid. Unless you are the only person in the world who can save the Earth by flying into space and destroying the comet, any one of the following will probably cost you the job:

1) “How much does the job pay?”
No, no, no. What makes you think I’m even ready to hire you? Yeah, we all know that the only reason you want a job is to make money. Certainly if you had all the money you needed, you wouldn’t want to work at all, but employers, like women in love, need to be lied to. We want to hear that you think our company is the best in the world – that you want to devote your every waking moment to making our company even better.

But asking about wages and salaries is premature. If the interview is going well and I decide that I may (emphasis on may) want to hire you, I will be the one to bring up the subject of money. If I do ask, and only if I ask, how much money you want, please give me a range of salaries to consider, not a specific amount.

Likewise do not ask me about vacations, bonus pay, or benefits. If I decide to hire you, we’ll discuss it then.

2) “What does your company make or do?”
Oh, boy. If you don’t know what my company makes or does, what the hell are you doing here? Get on the Internet, look up my company, see its history, how it was founded, what we make or service, how many employees we have, who the top executives are, read their life histories, check out our financials, what are our average profit margins, find out who our competitors are, go to my competitors’ websites, how are their products compared to mine?If my company has a message board, go there, read comments from my employees. If you know where my employees go to have lunch, go there, ask the cashiers about my employees, my company, etc.

This way, instead of asking about my company, wait for me to ask you why my company’s products and services interest you. If you researched my company the way I described, you will have no problem answering this question.

3) “I’m divorced. I just broke up with my girlfriend. I’m in rehab. I just went through bankruptcy. I have a gambling problem.”

Please spare me your personal problems. I’m not a bartender. If I think you’re broken, I certainly do not want to hire you. Keep your sexual orientation, nationality, ethnicity, race, handicap, or religion to yourself.

4) “I can’t work on weekends, Saturdays, or late at night.”
Don’t tell me that. I know that everyone has their own life, but I want candidates that are willing to do whatever is necessary to get the job done. I want to hear that you have no problem working 25 hours a day, 8 days a week and that you’ll even take on additional job duties in a crunch. Make me believe that given a choice between attending your wife’s funeral or putting in some overtime, that my company will come first.

5) “What time is happy hour?”
Don’t be flippant. Don’t curse. Don’t make jokes. Don’t say anything unless I ask you; I barely have the time to interview more than a few people a day, so don’t waste my time. Don’t ask me any questions unless I first ask, “Do you have any questions?”

6) “My last boss was a jerk. My last job sucked.”
If I ask you, “Why are you looking for a new job?” Please lie to me. Do not denigrate your last boss or your last job. Doing so lets me know that you’ll do the same to me if you leave my company. Instead, make up some BS that you had a difference of opinion with your former employer in work philosophies or styles. That’s it, keep it short. I’ll still know that you thought the last boss was a jerk but that you have the good manners not to bad-mouth him.

7) “How many young women work here?”
Hey, that may be the second reason you want to have a job, to be around babes. But I need to know that you will focus only on work. Don’t say anything that doesn’t promote the idea that your main focus is making my company better and more profitable.

There are probably 70 other things you shouldn’t say but they will be variations on the same theme. Don’t answer unless asked. Don’t ask unless asked. Know the company. Make me believe you will benefit the company.